The Psychology of Anger & Anger Management

[citychik]

[citychik]

For example, after exploring their childhood memories, some persons will say that they feel sad or lonely but do not feel any anger at their parents. In these cases, the anger can be recognized not through the emotion of rage but through specific behaviors of hate.

•Hatred for authority can be expressed through criminal activity; political protest and terrorism; abortion; shoplifting; speeding; being late for appointments; living in clutter or filth; etc.

•Hatred for the self can be expressed through the self-sabotage of one’s potential such as by chronic procrastination; the inability to support oneself by working; overdependence on others; substance abuse; obesity; codependence (such as marrying an alcoholic); emotional disability; etc.

But whether the end result be hatred for authority or hatred for yourself, the underlying cause is anger at your parents, because of their failures in love.

And then, when everything has been brought to light, real forgiveness can be possible.

To forgive means simply that you refuse to keep hating someone. In practical terms, this refusal to hate is a conscious decision, from the depths of your heart, to give up your desire to feel the satisfaction of knowing that the one who caused your hurt will get hurt in the end. Notice here that the silent, secret desire for satisfaction keeps unconscious anger alive and growing and prevents genuine forgiveness.

[Butterfly Woman]

[Rusty Zipper]

Quote: Notice here that the silent, secret desire for satisfaction keeps unconscious anger alive and growing and prevents genuine forgiveness.

i'm smell'n some step 6 & 7 here! lol

[citychik]

I want to finish this topic off and it appears to go on forever; so I'm jumping to the summary. OK?


Remember that anger, being an emotion, is not something you can ever “get rid of.” As long as you are alive there will be times when you are insulted and feel hurt. And, as long as there are times when you feel hurt, you will be pulled down into unconscious fantasies of revenge.

But once you notice that you feel hurt you have a choice. You don’t have to accept blindly the unconscious slide into revenge.

On the one hand, you don’t have to “get angry.” That is, you don’t have to become abusive or violent. If you tell yourself, “Yes, I hurt. But it is not so much another person as human nature itself hurting me, and there’s nothing I can do about it, except refuse to return hurt for hurt, sin for sin,” then you can feel compassion for the person who hurt you, and you can be forgiving.

[Butterfly Woman]

And it is important to note there is a very fine line distinguishing the difference between hurt, anger and fear.............

[Rusty Zipper]

feel it, get it out, and let it the hell go!

[kasia9752]

Aye, name it, claim it, deal with it