The Baby!

[Rusty Zipper]

i am blown away from the word's i here from people in recovery.
Burning Bush, Coming to Believe, Higher Power, Spiritual Awakening, The Powers That Be! { my persional favorite} God, and on...

bring's to mind one day before recovery, at my bottom. i was down at the beach. feeling dispare, miserable, thought's of suicide. i saw a young couple and a little child. the child was just starting to learn how to walk. the couple was so proud of their little baby. i was fascinated with the look of determiation on that little child. then a feeling of the most sadness i had ever experienced took hold of me. i started crying like a baby. i was thinking i could have been that father, looking at his child. but instead i was at the final stages of my addiction, my alcoholism...

i left, and couldn't honesty tell you where i went, probably in a blackout by then.

time passed...

it was the day going to get my 90 day coin. on the way driving up to my group. i remember listening to some music, feeling like a million buck's, happy, joyous, and free. the compulsion to drink was lifted by this time. the "Pink Cloud" hum!

i started to remember that little child at the beach trying to learn how to walk. i started to cry, just like that day at the beach. the only difference was these tear's were not tear's of dispare. they were tear's of gratitude...

i was standing up, and saying a few syllables, all of a sudden, my great, great grand sponser walked in.
walked in with his little child. he had put the child on the ground. the child was crawling around. i was more fascinated with the child than recieving my coin. my sponser singled me to pay attention. all of a sudden that child started to try to get up. he crawled over to his daddy. grabbed a hold of his leg, and proceeded to get up. that f#$%#@g kid was starting to walk. the goose bumps were crawling all over me. a feeling of something like i had never felt. a burning bush one might say?....... nah! .....it was just a realization that i was just like that little baby. i was taking "My" first baby step's to my road to Happy Destiny! ... a happy, joyous, and free one to all!

love, blessings and recovery

zip

[Angelily]

Thank you for sharing your story. I sure did need to read today what you wrote. I have been struggling with the God thing.. A burning bush ? A spiritual awakening would be for me..
Thanks again.

Angelily

[Rusty Zipper]

more is being revealed!

i was at my aunts funeral today...

the after get together a cousin and i were talking, and my father came up...

he said he made it a point once a year to go see him...

the last time he did, pop said, lets go for a ride...

i'll direct you!

cuz said, your blind, and have gangrene on your legs!

cuz said they drove for miles to a little Gin Mill in the Poconos!

cuz also said, the doctors told pop, he has to stop drinking or will die...

in a short time, pop did!

always thought pop might'a been a alk'y

from my childhood years...

guese he was...

stay tuned, more will be revealed!

[JDSober]

I could relate to both stories very much the baby made me cry actually
I remember such a similar view myself

Together we can!

Love peace Hope and Healing
JD

[horselover]

Thank you for that story Rusty. It brought tears to my eyes. I don't know if you read my story on SR, but I almost chose drinking over being a parent. I look at my son now and if I think too long on it I lose it. He's wondering what the heck's wrong with his crazy old Mom. At the age of 36 years old I decided I am going to have a baby. I should have quit drinking and smoking long before I made that decision but I was sober and cigarette free as soon as I took the test and found out I was carrying. I lasted a couple years without the booze, but returned to the nasty rat!! I didn't return to the cigarettes. I am now 42 years old and a sober Mommy.

I love the way you turned it around in the end RZ. You are truly, truly God's baby and always will be. He's our Father teaching us how to begin life anew. Got to love'em!!

God bless ya!

[Guest]

I can relate to the Baby story. My grandson is 16 months old. And they live on the East Coast and I'm on the West. But I was blessed with the fact that I was there when he took his first step. And what a beautiful thing to watch him start to walk. He would go a little, then he'd fall, then he'd pick himself up and try again. And it went on like that but he never gave up. Until he had the hang of it then he was all over the place. "GOD BLESS HIS HEART" Some one in the meeting today was sharing about the same thing. We are all God's Children; Not God's Adults. He holds are hand and walks us through. He carries us when we are too weary. He teaches us lessons when there meant to be learned. God is always there picking up after us..Because he loves us..God would never leave us. We leave Him.!! Amen!

This is My Grandson Owen 6 months

[attachment=0]<!-- ia0 -->Owen 10-12-07 002.jpg<!-- ia0 -->[/attachment]

[Rusty Zipper]

linda. what a handsome little young man...

love that suit.

well, we here about the terrible twos...

when i have the right time, its time to write about the wonderful twos!

2nd year sobriety!

[Coffeebreath]

Rusty Zipper Wrote:cuz said they drove for miles to a little Gin Mill in the Poconos!

My 96 year old grandfather told us a story of how back in the Prohibition days he would board the train with an empty suitcase to the "Mill" and come back with a full suitcase - no baggage checking in those days.