Today's thought from Hazelden

[Butterfly Woman]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Almost everyone wants something/or nothing.
--Marsha Sinetar

Bargains attract. Finding a good value excites us, and we share the news quickly. Wanting anything for free is human nature perhaps. However, we have had to learn again and again that you get what you pay for. This is true of human interactions too.

Why do we think that others will be there for us if we aren't available for them? Having friends means being a friend, even if it's time-consuming. Although friendship's rewards are indisputable, we still tend to wait, letting the other person make the first move. Getting the other person to commit first reduces our effort, perhaps, but we will still receive according to what we give.

Knowing and utilizing this principle simplifies our lives. Once we master it, we never forget it. And what we bring to our relationships will be given back to us.

I am willing to give to others what I want in return today. Their efforts will match my own.

You are reading from the book: A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

[Butterfly Woman]

love grows by service.
--Charlotte Perkins Gilman

When we shower someone special with much needed attention, or maybe flowers, or run an errand for a friend, or volunteer to do a favor for an unnamed person, we benefit in many ways. We're appreciated; we feel good about our own behavior, and we've tightened the connection to another person that fosters personal human development.

Most of us long for more signs of love from one another. Yet we fail to understand that our own expression of love to that special someone will release the love we long to feel.

Love multiplies with frequency of expression, whether stranger-to-stranger, friend-to-friend, lover-to-lover, parent-to-child; and everyone is the beneficiary.

Love's expression spontaneously generates more of itself, thus promising each of us what we long for.

You are reading from the book: Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

[Butterfly Woman]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
--Karl Wallenda

In walking a tightrope, a person has to learn to relax while going forward in a situation filled with risk. If he is tense and keeps his body rigid, he will lose his balance and fall. But if he stays relaxed and keeps his muscles loose while remaining very focused, he can continuously respond and readjust his balance while walking. Then he will experience the exhilaration of success. This is a perfect metaphor for life itself, for growing in an intimate relationship and for growing in recovery.
Life itself is a risk. When we hold on too tight, remain too guarded, and anxiously try to control every factor, we become stiff and reactive rather than calm, focused, and responsive. The guidance of this path teaches us to let go of our anxieties and leads us to peace of mind. When we learn to do that, we can deftly walk our path and more effectively maintain our balance in dealing with whatever comes up.

Today I will calm myself while walking on my path.

You are reading from the book: Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

[Butterfly Woman]

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Some things I cannot change: my age, who my relatives are, my eye color, my height, my childhood experiences, my inborn talents, my nature, someone else's abuse of alcohol or other drugs, whether the sun will shine, my job history, what I will inherit, how my parents feel, yesterday's lost opportunities, how long I will live, who forgives me, how my parents treated me, how much I am loved, the past.

Some things I can change: the youthfulness of my spirit, who my friends are, my hair color, my weight, my adult experiences, my achievements, my character, my reaction to someone else's use of alcohol or other drugs, whether my eyes will shine, my job possibilities, what I will bequeath, how I feel, my ability to act on today's opportunities, how well I will live, whom I forgive, how I treat my own children, how much I love, the future.

I thank God for my growing ability to choose.

You are reading from the book: Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

[Butterfly Woman]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
- Soren Kierkegaard

One of Mark Twain's most interesting writings states we should live life backwards from the age of eighty to the time we were just a gleam in someone's eye. How much more we'd learn, he felt, if we already knew how to live before we had to.

We may fantasize sometimes about going back with the tools of the program we're using today to our families, our high schools, or our dating years. It may please us to think of how "together" we would be with such tools, knowing what we know now.

But we can't live backwards. Every year we move along in age, experience, maturity, and wisdom. Sometimes we only see such growth on birthdays, when we look back to a year ago at who we were then and who we are now. As our years advance, so do we. Sometimes we need to take a brief look backward in order to see this.

Today I'll remember that to see my growth all I have to do is look at where I was a year ago. I have advanced in age, but I've also advanced in wisdom and maturity.

You are reading from the book: Night Light by Amy E. Dean

[Butterfly Woman]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Who in my life will make me happy? Do I look to others when I'm feeling discouraged, sad, or lonely? Do I want someone to help me feel better?

I hold within myself the ability to be happy. I don't have to put expectations on others to make me feel loved or special. I don't have to look for a new relationship to be happy. I can find it within me. When I try to be happy because of other people, it means they have the power to take my happiness away. When I make myself happy, I'm the one in control of my emotions.

Today I will remember that I'm the one who's responsible for my happiness, not someone else. I don't have to look for someone else to fix my low self-esteem or attitude. Even though I can be upset by some people or feel happy when I'm with others, I'm the one who's creating these feelings because I have the ability to do so.

The only person who makes me feel a certain way is me.

You are reading from the book: Time to Fly Free by Judith R. Smith

[Butterfly Woman]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

There is no reality except the one contained within us.
--Herman Hesse

Claude Gellee painted lovely pictures of the English countryside. Europeans loved his landscapes, with their blue hues and mild distortions. But when the people went for the carriage rides in the country, they were disappointed because it didn't look the way Gellee had painted it. Then someone discovered that if you held blue glass up to your eyes and looked through it, the trees and hills and sky looked just like a Gellee painting! Soon everyone was looking through "Claude glasses" when they travelled.

We often let others do our seeing for us. We get lazy and rely on the images of television and movies, instead of really seeing with our own eyes. Our world becomes distorted and we lose sight of the natural beauty that surrounds us.

Each of us carries reality inside ourselves, and as we grow stronger within, we discover that we can see clearest when we trust our own eyes. There is a glorious world, full and rich, just waiting for us to

Will I see the world through my own eyes today?

You are reading from the book:



Today's Gift by Anonymous

[Butterfly Woman]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me.
--Judy Collins

The child within each of us is fragile, but very much alive, and she interprets our experiences before we are even conscious of them. It is our child who may fear new places, unfamiliar people, and strange situations. Our child needs nurturing, the kind she may not have received in the past. We can take her hand, coax her along, let her know she won't be abandoned. No new place, unfamiliar person, or strange situation need overwhelm her.

It's quite amazing the strength that comes to us when we nurture ourselves, when we acknowledge the scared child within and hold her, making her secure. We face nothing alone. Together, we can face anything.

I will take care of my child today and won't abandon her to face, alone, any of the experiences the day may bring.

You are reading from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

[Butterfly Woman]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Detachment means "freedom from emotion."

Letting someone else's behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else's "insanity" affect how we behave and how we feel.

At first, it may seem insensitive not to react to others' problems or negative behavior. We may fear they'll think we simply don't care about them. Learning that it is far more caring to let other people handle their own lives takes time and patience. But with practice, it will begin to feel comfortable. In fact, in time it will feel freeing and wonderful.

I will work on detachment today, knowing that in time the rewards will come.

You are reading from the book: A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

[Butterfly Woman]

I realy like what Hazelton says today.

How many times have we heard others say to us "oh, you shouldn't feel that way" Then we feel bad...sometimes even feel guilty about the way we feel.

There are no should or shouldn'ts in feelings. They are neither right nor wrong...They just are. We recognize them....We own them as our own. Then if need be they are turned over to God.

Allowing others to decide what to feel or not feel is giving away parts of ourselves. We can own our own feelings ansd allow others to own their own. We can take responsibility for our own feelings. The problem we all had when we were out there active in our drinking and using carreers was how we acted on our feelings...how we stuffed our feeliongs...how we escaped into our bottle or substance to escape or hide from our feelings.

Today. I can and do own my own feelings. I allow God to dicipline me in the way to express those feelings. The feelings are mine. I own them. They are a part of me. Today I am responsible to know how to express those feelings.